July 13, 2008

Few Thoughts

I posted this on BT LL, and liked it so I'm posting it on my blogs.

"One thing keeps coming back to me. As I lay at the bottom of the cliff, in the creek, the first thing I did was check my jaw/teeth/face, and wiggle my toes. But my mind was thinking, "You silly goose, all that music you play by yourself, and if you were dead now nobody would know. They would never have heard it." Only it wasn't silly goose it was more like shy, stupid woman.

And then the other night I realized I have spent the entire 21st century without playing out except for little pick up gigs with my brothers. I got sidetracked into the whole kayaking thing, which I'm not very good at but it is fun.

I have had a lot to think about. Like, what is important. Or, if I'd died, how I would be remembered, and what for, and what good things have I bothered to do while alive? I really was afraid I wouldn't play again because of my loss of feeling in my fingers. I can type with this hand again though, and I believe it will all come back. I have faith it will come back.

No I'm not God's Gift To Music, but it really does make me happy like nothing else."

July 11, 2008

My Favorite Guitar Solos

Been thinking about my favorite guitar solos. Some of the best ever, ever ever are on:


"Nowhere Man" by the Beatles
"Don't Worry Baby" by the Beach Boys


That's the sort of thing I seek in my solos, not saying I've found it ever but it's a worthy goal. To have the right notes, not a bunch o' notes played as fast as one can manage.
In "Don't Worry Baby", it's just chords. I love it.

"Nowhere Man" is even closer to what I try to do when I make up a solo.
To play a phrase in a different melody, complementary to the song it is contained within. To give a glimpse of the spirit? person? of the guitarist. To make a mini-song.

My Cast is off, my Pin is out!

Got the cast removed and the pin pulled out of my wrist, Wed. July 9th.

They put me under heavy sedation in the surgery. Versed, thank you for making me not remember the removal of the second pin! Being fully awake, alert, and w/out pain meds for the removal of the first pin was memorable enough.
Here I am in my pre-op room, getting ready to get going with the bidness:


My sister Kathy kindly took these photos for me, and stayed with me while I was in the hospital.
I hate my f'n neck btw.

And after the operation:

It was all quick and painless, the worst part was the IV. I hate getting IVs, but usually when they tape 'em down I can't feel them anymore. Not this one. It was a bitch all day. Before they gave me the Versed etc. I did a crossword puzzle to take my mind off of the IV.

And here is the pin ------------->>>>
A friend commented that it looked like a 16 penny nail. So I had to look up what a 16 penny nail is and I'd say he is about right. Except there is no nail head.
I've got both pins btw, hoping to get K1chik to make me some jewelry with them, someway somehow.
Now I'm back at work in a splint. I wear the splint when I am walking around or doing anything where I may slip and fall and re-injure myself. Except the shower...
But when I'm seated I take off the splint and do three exercises:
Turn the doorknob
Hammer the nail
Flip the pancake (my description of it)
I am already a lot better than I expected to be. Oh but I am jonesing for the water, and for my guitars!!!! And my new Vox amp...
Here is a vid to tide me and you over. It's the best band that ever was or will be, The Beatles. And I could have been singing this song for the past 7 weeks! Fortunately I have family and friends who did Help!
BTW John Lennon is the most beautiful thing in that video... I will always love him!

July 8, 2008

Update -hiking accident, bear chow, etc. etc.

Update July 8 Tomorrow I am getting this cast off and the second pin out. Went in today for surgery pre-testing. They asked a lot of questions, and had a lot of instructions, that seemed to indicate full anesthesia. That isn't what I was told to expect so I figure they ask the same things of everybody who comes in, regardless of the type of pain management. At least, I hope so. I'm hoping for a valium/demerol IV instead. That's what I got for my wisdom tooth and it worked a treat, as the Brits say.
No advil, no aspirin, no contact lenses, no makeup, no mouthwash, no food or drink after Midnight. No Kafka, no Verdi, no Dead Milkmen. Instead of ten commandments she read me a litany of dozens.
But - good news is I've had no lortab for days now, so I am driving my car. Being without a car in B'ham has sucked big time. Having a car again is sweet freedom.


Someone I love very much is going to Alaska this coming week to be mauled and eaten by bears, after which I will never see him again, and he is worried about: being bored during the trip.
I thought, later, after sharing a lunch break and giving him a final big goodbye hug, of books to suggest he read, but somehow I didn't suggest them. He is taking Into The Wild which is certainly thematically appropriate, but I have some different suggestions that, should he read my blog, he may take into consideration. I don't have the cheek, as the Brits say, to tell him the list in person.

OK on to the list:

Iron John

How 'bouts some Kafka

Flannery O'Kick Ass

Death In Venice

A Walk In The Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

IMHO, out of all of these the last will be best... it is very funny and apropro. propropropro.

I am in an absurd mood tonight, surely in part because I am afraid of tomorrow. But I will muddle on through.

Let me tell you about a bad habit I've nurtured - looking up old high school mates (as the Brits say, rather than 'friends') on the Internet. And they are damn hard to find. Certainly the ones who loathe me (and vice versa) that I look up, to see how they are, are invisible on the 'net, but even ones I'd like to say hey to, like the one who became a goddamn lawyer, are not to be found easily, and then scantily when found. Whereas I am as easy to find online as a recipe for buttermilk spongecake.

Men, I am told, do not do this. The thought of finding old hags online, without the intent of talking to them but simply to be nosy, does not enter their minds. Ever.

On to future plans:

buy self new kayak, a playboat silly, whatthefuckelse would I get with a perfectly good Riot Magnum decorating my kitchen?

catch all the eddies in Broken Nose.

buy townhouse, so I don't have to deal with a yard, or downstairs OR upstairs neighbors.

That's plenty.

DJ

*edit - I was joking about Iron John!!!!*

July 1, 2008

The Saga of Jekey

I had forgotton about Jecky. In Jan 2004 I decided to attract and mess with a nigerian scam artist. They had been hitting my favorite paddling forum's gear swap pretty badly. I made a pseudonym 'Anita Sponsons'* and posted an ad on the forum.

*sponson - a sort of outrigger to attach to a boat. Useless on whitewater kayaks, its inventor trolled rec.boats.paddle on Usenet relentlessly until most people left the newsgroup. Though before my time as a paddler, I have heard tales of how the sponson guy ruined rbp, by being a persistent, trolling ass.*


It didn't take long for me to get a response.
>From: jekey tayo
>To: sponsons@hotmail.com
>Subject: This amazing
>Date: Thu, 15 Jan 2004 14:52:46 -0800 (PST)
> >Hello,
> I saw your advert on the net and i have interest in buying the boat
>which cost $300. My mode of payment is by cashier's cheque.give me the best
>price for quick purchase and the condition of the boat as at now . >Thank you > jekey

Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> wrote: Hello! I am selling the boat for $300 plus the Genuine Natural Hair Fiber Paddle as a free bonus. However there will be a charge for shipping and that depends on where you are located. The boat is in fine condition. I took it a few times down the Green Narrows, Whitewater flume park in Atlanta, and then got a mystery groove in the Upchucky before my left sponson creased. After I got my neck cast off the main paddling I did was the swamps of the Cahaba, and the boat has served me well. It's like it's on auto-squirt, and I can spew like a rodeo boater. Let me know where you are. I like cashier's cheques.

HELLO , THANKS FOR THE RESPONDS. AM LOCATED IN ASIA.WHAT I NEED FROM YOU NOW IS THAT NAME THE WILL BE ON THE CHEQUE WILL BE PAYABLE TO AND THE ADDRESS,WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THE PAYMENT CAN COMMENCE ASA I GET THIS INFOMATION I WIULL CONTACT MY CLIENT TO ISSUE YOU THE CHEQUE THE EXCESS OF THE CHEQUE WILL BE FOR THE SHIPMENT. I HAVE MY PRIVATE SHIPPING COMPANY THAT THEY WILL COME FOR THE PICK UP YOU CAN CONTACT THEM THROUGH VIA EMAIL(JEKEYSHIPPINGAGENT@YAHOO.COM)I WILL LOOKING FORWARD TO YUR REPLY.


>From: jekey tayo >To: Anita Sponsons >

Subject: RE: This amazing >Date: Fri, 16 Jan 2004 12:55:32 -0800 (PST) > >HELLO , > THANKS FOR THE RESPONDS. AM LOCATED IN ASIA.WHAT I NEED FROM YOU NOW
>IS THAT NAME THE
>WILL >BE ON THE CHEQUE >WILL BE PAYABLE TO AND THE ADDRESS,WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THE >PAYMENT >CAN COMMENCE ASA I GET THIS INFOMATION I WIULL CONTACT MY CLIENT TO >ISSUE >YOU THE CHEQUE THE EXCESS OF THE CHEQUE WILL BE FOR THE SHIPMENT. I >HAVE MY >PRIVATE SHIPPING COMPANY THAT THEY WILL COME FOR THE PICK UP YOU CAN >CONTACT THEM THROUGH VIA EMAIL(JEKEYSHIPPINGAGENT@YAHOO.COM)I >WILL >LOOKING FORWARD TO YUR REPLY.

Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> wrote: ASIA? Really? What a coincidence! I ate Mu Shu Shrimp last night! I love Chinese food, because you can order in Chinese with words like Mu Shu and also learn about Chinese history, like General Tso and those Mongolians, and do your horoscope with the place mat. But I digress. I am having a hard time imagining my baby boat 2000 miles away from Alabama. It's just that it was designed for Southeastern whitewater, by a famous Southeastern paddler. He played banjo in the movie Deliverance, maybe you've seen him. What kind of river would you be paddling with it? Or do you live near the ocean? I am concerned for your safety. Kayaking can be a dangerous sport. Anita

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME THE FULL INFOMATION THAT I GIVE YOU SO THE PAYMENY WILL BE ISSUE.I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY.

OK he wanted me to write the shipping company he uses, which happens to be called jekey shipping company.

Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> wrote: Hello, I was given this address from a man? woman? named Jekey who is interested in buying my kayak. I suppose he wants you to calculate shipping to his address from mine. Well I live in Hog Teat which is right outside of Wetumpka, Alabama, but we usually ship things from Montgomery at the UPS store. So why don't you figure out shipping from Montgomery. Thanks, Anita Sponsons

HELLO, MY NAME IS OLANREWAJU VALENTINE. I AM THE MANAGING DIRECTOR OF JEKEY SHIPPING COMPANY.MY CUSTOMER MR JEKEY JEFF CONTACTED ME THAT I WILL BE HELPING HIM TO SHIP A KAYAK HE PLANS TO PURCHASE FROM YOU.HE MADE ME UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL BE SENDING SOME AMOUNT OF MONEY TO ME WHICH WILL COVER SHIPPING AND SOME OTHER BILLS. I WILL WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT IS THE POLICY OF MY COMPANY TO HAVE SHIPPING CHARGES PAID UPFRONT BEFORE WE COME DOWN TO YOUR LOCATION TO ARRANGE FOR THE SHIPPING AND PAYMENT IS USUALLY PAID IN CASH. I WILL SEND ALL MY DETAIL INFORMATION TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU NOTIFY ME THAT YOU WILL BE SENDING THE PAYMENT TO ME AND I WILL WANT THE FUNDS SENT TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO THAT I MAY LEAVE FOR AN EARLY PICK-UP . AS SOON AS I HAVE THE FUNDS WHICH I WILL MOST PREFER TO BE SENT TO ME VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER IN YOUR LOCATION, I WILL LEAVE FOR THE PICK-UP AND I WILL WANT YOU TO PUT IN PLACE ALL THE MAJOR THINGS THAT WILL ENHANCE A SMOOTH AND SUCCESSFUL SHIPPING ARRANGEMENT FOR THE KAYAK,HOPE IS IN GOOD CONDITION. I LOOK FOWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SINCERELY, OLANREWAJU VALENTINE.


>From: jekey tayo <jekey882000@yahoo.com> >To: Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> >Subject: RE: This amazing >HELLO > THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.TRY TO GIVE ME THE INFOMATION SO I WILL FORWARD TO IT TO MY CLIENT TO SEND YOU THE PAYMENT.I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY. > >> > >

Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> wrote: >Why would I send you money? I am selling a boat, you're paying for a boat. >What do you mean, jekey or olwananrana or whoever? I haven't even gotten a >check from you for the boat by the way.
> >On a happier note, one of my hogs won Best Teat in the annual Hog Teat
>contest, held here in honor of the town of Hog Teat Alabama.
>>>> ANITA


From: jekey tayo <jekey882000@yahoo.com> >To: Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> >Subject: no problem >Date: Sat, 28 Feb 2004 07:11:20 -0800 (PST)

> > > >Hello Anita, > Am not saying you should send me money i have sent youexess i have have already said eaierler on so themoney is excess that is why i said you will send the remaining to my shipper in norway so no problem try to get the check as soon as soppible can you can thet you dog for me to take a look.

Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> wrote: Well now wait a minute. Why would you send more money? I could just keep the extra money after all, instead of sending it anywheres. I know that when I buy hog milk I don't send more than the prescribed amount due. I wasn't born a pig ear's sandwich, you know. I gots smarts. What I don't have is a check from you for anything. And what's a dog got to do with this anyway? ANITA

>Hello Anita, > Why should you be talking like this?i don;t want any means of play o.k when you nget the check deduct your money there and send the remaining to my shipper via western union and let stop our deal there o.k

Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> wrote:Jekey. How's it hangin'? Listen, I'm worried about you. >Kayaking is a serious and dangerous sport. At least tell me what country in >Asia you are writing from. >I don't want to sell you a boat that you could use inappropriately and die >in. > >

HELLO > THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.TRY TO GIVE ME THE INFOMATION SO I WILL FORWARD TO IT TO MY CLIENT TO SEND YOU THE PAYMENT.I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY. > > > >Anita Sponsons >Well, OK. I have to give you my work number because we don't have a phone here in Hog Teat.

Anita Sponsons
2121 8th Avenue North,
Suite 1400
Birmingham, Alabama 35203
334-242-7300
*This is the address and phone number, IIRC, for the B'ham FBI office. This was Gordo's idea.*

Thanks for your purchase,
Anita Sponsons
Oh yeah you should write : Attention: Check for online boat purchase on the envelope so someone at the office doesn't open it by mistake.

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.I WILL CONTACT MY CLIENT TO SEND YOU THE CHEQUE.YOU WILL RECEIVE THE CHEQUE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.I WILL BE LOOKING FORARD TO YOUR REPLY.

>From: jekey tayo <jekey882000@yahoo.com> >To: Anita Sponsons <sponsons@hotmail.com> >Subject: PAYMENT >Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2004 13:08:12 -0800 (PST) > > > >
Hello Anita,
> I called the number you gav me but it was your wife office phone number,could you expalin why you have done that to me of which your wife was embarassinmg me.the payment it;s on the way so i will like you to get everything set as soon as possible. > Regards - Jekey

FROM ANITA: jekey that's not my wife!!!! She doesn't work. She stays at home raising our kids, slopping the hogs, and cleaning out the chicken coop. The woman you spoke to is my secretary. Don't take any guff off her! I told her to expect your call! Sometimes she is hard to deal with, she has a hearing problem. TELL HER WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU ARE CALLING. I am so sorry for the inconvenience! ANITA

HELLO THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.TRY TO MAKE THE SHIPPING ARRANGEMENT SO THE SHIPMNET CAN COMMENCE SOON.TRY TO SEND THE SHIPPING CHARGES SO THEY CAN COME FOR THE PICK UP IMMEDIATELY,BECAUSE I WANT IT SHIPPED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.HERE ARE MY SHIPPIER'S INFORMATION YOU WILL USE IN SENDING THE MONEY. NAME.....OLANREWAJU VALENTINE. ADDRESS.....108 CURTIS STREET,OSLO NORWAY. HERE ARE THE INFORMATION YOU WILL PROVIDE TO ME AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY SO I COULD FORWARD IT TO MY SHIPPER. SENDER NAME.................. RECEIVER NAME............. AMOUNT SEND........ TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER......... MTCN#10 DIGIT NUMBER.......... I WILL BE FOR THE INFORMATION... HERE ARE THE WESTERN UNION OUTLET WERE YOU CAN CASH AND SEND THE MONEY ....

after which olarnasnjoruwer jekey whatthafuck helpfully sent FIVE little maps showing the western union locations in birmingham, using mapquest.


Anita's response: Jekey... I don't know how to tell you this. I am SO SORRY. But my best Nigerian hog, Scammer, got into my boat shed and took a liking to the boat you are buying. I wasn't aware of this until this morning. He has been 'nesting' in your boat, apparently for quite a while, and he has relieved himself several times in the boat, judging from the smell. The result is that your boat is full of... shit. I just don't know what to do, Jekey - I really don't want to touch the thing after this, and I doubt any manner of cleaning will get the shit off of the flex capacitors. The wicker seat reeks of hog urine, and he broke the mast off, too. Do you still want me to ship you this kayak? Anxiously, Anita

HELLO ANITA, COULD YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON ,I NEED IT URGENTLY. so...

Anita responds: I'm trying to tell you. Oh I forgot your from asia so maybe you need it said like on a chinese menu. Boat have pig shit generously filled within. Smell make eyes water and nose run - off face. Boat need ancient chinese secret to remove shit and smell. If you use boat, fish run away and flies have party. You want boat not sure anyone willing to ship. Boat has become a Distatefull Object. No egg roll include. Anita

Welcome

Howdy. My name is Judy Ranelli and this is my blog. I also have a blog at http://www.myspace.com/dangerjudy.
This blog is for my personal thoughts and whatever I want to post. It has no purpose other than my expression. I am so stoked that I know now how to make a top-level post that remains top-level! What you do is outlined here.

Anyway, my favorite things include guitars, whitewater kayaks, caving boots, photography, critters, particularly snakes and cats, history, and interesting non-fiction. Whiskey from kittens, mmmm. So expect posts about that stuff. One of the reasons I have this blog is to make a list of what fun things I do on which day, so that later on I can go back and read when something cool happened. So it's kinda for my own nefarious purposes.
Some people have amazing blogs. They post really intelligent comments about pertinent topics. This ain't one of them blogs. But I will post some links to some blogs that I keep up with, later.

Oh yeah - how I got the nickname Dangerjudy. When I started paddling my friend Michael made up superhero names for us. Thus Kombat Keith (got his combat roll first of us all), Zenmaster Sam (my nephew the buddhist), Shreddin' Ellen (I named her that. 'shredding' means playing very well on a wave), Panda whose real name is Panda, and so forth. I still call Ellen Shreddin' Ellen on the rare occasion I can get her to paddle. I needed a Boatertalk user name and used the nickname Dangerjudy and also the cavers started using it too. The cavers already had a guy we call Hazard when I joined the grotto. So no, it's not meant to be a bragging kind of name. If anything it's ironic because I am not one to just jump into something without fear. But after flipping my truck and rolling it several times on the interstate, and walking away from the wreck, I felt that I had earned the nickname.