Everything That Rises Must Reverb

Itty Bitty
Current mood: amused

I have started a new music project (I don't know how else to describe it) that I am calling Itty Bitty. So far it's just me and that may very well be all it is. And I haven't recorded anything, and that may end up that way too. But that's just how it is, as I am an eccentric person.
I am calling it Itty Bitty for two reasons. The first reason is that the words itty bitty make me laugh. The second is that I keep writing little pop songs. In major keys. Without any kind of 'seriousness' or 'heaviness'. It's just where I am in life right now I reckon. I also got a new (to me) 1980's Japanese strat to play with.
The things that I like to explore about songs are clever transitions (chord changes?) and writing appropriate and melodic solos.
One thing I am trying to not get hung up about is worrying that I'm making up something that is already a song, because it seems that part of every song is part of another song, kind of like "I Saw Her Standing There" is uh, inspired by "The Saints Come Marching In", and how many songs are based on Rhythm Changes (Summer Place, The Flintstones theme, and a plethora of others). The problem with this is I am hung up about it, I'm just trying not to be.

Other stuff - I am home from Ottawa, where I went to five days of kayak school on the Ottawa river. It was my vacation and it was awesome. I had never paddled five days in a row before. So I feel quite strong, lol.
I've been lifting weights three nights a week and doing a Spin class twice a week, and paddling on weekends. My hope is to get strong enough to do some flatwater tricks in my kayak. It's not common for women to do these sorts of tricks, because skill alone won't make it happen, you have to have some serious core ab strength. I'm also hoping to further along the process of de-belly-fication. Ontario is a very sparsly populated place. In Beachburg, which is where the whitewater sections of the Ottawa are, people ride their lawnmowers down the street to do errands, and the one restaurant in town sells 'Chinese and Canadian' food. I didn't go there, and wish I had. There are nearby towns with other places, particularly the delicious and cool Middle of Nowhere restaurant.

OK enough pictures of restaurants - the Ottawa is world-reknown for its big water, and here is me punching Sattlers Hole on McCoy's rapid. It was so big my brain would go into shock and I'd have the mantra, "Just don't think about it, just don't think about it" until I got to the bottom of the rapid, and the adrenaline would have me shaking. Oh man that ruled... anyway there was nothing hard about that line, I'm just not used to water that big.

Here's a beauty shot of the Ottawa. In between each rapid it's like a lake.
Here's another with some kayakers in it.
Whoo-hoo! Iron Ring Rapid!
One more - Lower No Name Rapid, this was a canoeists' line that the kayakers decided to take.

Tonight - roll practice at the lake, with the new kayak students. I wish I could roll as consistently as some of the people I've taught to roll! Kayaking is such a mental sport. Your attitude is a huge huge part of it, and your belief in your own abilites.
I've got to swap out boats as my Wavesport xxx is in my sister's garage, and I need it for the lake. Hey, that boat was all the rage in 99.
Well, I'm just meandering, so that's it for now.

letter

Yeah I know, people don't write letters anymore, they write emails or blogs. Still, it's something special to get a letter, on real paper.

What was that? Oh, I was going to tell you about what happened after I sent a letter that I regret sending, but in a way I don't, because I was telling the truth. Consider this - that much of civilization consists of not speaking how you really feel, unless you really feel positive about something. Feeling negative about something, or someone, and needing to vent, isn't polite. So I wasn't polite. Unfortunately I was cruel.

After I sent you the letter, lots of things have happened. First off, my father died of cancer. I have had my heart profoundly broken two more times. Then I had a serious episode where I should have snagged this hottie but he went off and got married to someone else. It is for the best because he did not appreciate my sense of humor. That's a way for me to say I could have sold him the brooklyn bridge, he was so gullible to my wiles. I need someone more cynical than that. So no I never did get married.
Nor will I! Unless he's a boater. Gotta be a boater. Well, a boater would be best. See, I started kayaking, and like Frost,
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"

I took a whitewater kayaking class, and fell in love. And it has taken the measure of me, and pitilessly... I have had two right shoulder dislocations and surgery thereon. I have been stuffed in an undercut and worked in a hole. I have felt fear I never thought possible to feel. It's amazingly alive, being in the moment as kayaking puts me. Like nothing else. It's THE BEST.
I know I know I get poetic about it. You rolling your eyes yet? That's fine. I'll always be intense.
Lessee, I also go caving. Caving is like being in a secret passageway in a fine old Victorian mansion. The passageway leads to a room filled with glittering jewels. There is much mystery in caves, and much comfort, too. I feel very comforted deep in a cave. There are bats and mud and water, tinkling waterfalls, quiet safe dark encompassing all, no light, no sound, the best peace there is. I think you might like it. But you have to get dirty to get to the best places.
I also go mountaineering. I'll describe that later.
What's needed here is a Quick summary - I rolled my truck on the interstate and walked away from it physically unscathed. This was less of an epiphanic moment than it deserves to be. You get really philosophical for awhile, then life gradually takes over and one day you're grousing over being out of peanut butter and other mundane things, just like you were before the wreck.
I work at the same place, I'm doing motion graphics and compositing on Avid DS. I wouldn't trade my job for any other except Lottery Winner or Rock Star.
My sister Kat survived breast cancer last year, she has had a double mastectomy and reconstruction.
I have vitiligo.

Oh by the way, of course I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for many reasons, but one of the major ones was when Kat got diagnosed. I don't want to read in the paper that you've died. I don't want to find that out from a website. It rips me apart to think of that. But on the other hand, there are plenty of people I never want to hear from or talk to again, and a couple that I will be quite happy to read their obits. People have their destinies, and only so much time. Why waste time on someone whose company you detest?
I was laughing with a friend about that, about how there is this certain woman that I'd like to call and say, "Listen you annoy the piss out of me and I really don't enjoy your company, nor do I want to talk to you after this, but are you doing ok?"
As this is a prerogative I enjoy, it is also your prerogative. So I don't expect a reply but it would be nice to get one. I didn't expect, or want, a reply to that last letter of course. I had kicked you to the proverbial curb.

Back to being sorry though - I am.
Another thing that happened was Shane dying in Little River Canyon. I have a PFD he sold me - my first - and I have a brilliant image of him in my mind in the Garage cafe when I told him I was taking the beginner kayak class, back in 99 - he said, "If you flip, try to roll up". He was a magnificent boater and a good friend. Several aquantiances of mine have also died in the past two years. It makes me wonder what I would say, if I could, to them if I had known the time left with them was so short.

So see, I wonder, because you come to mind rather often these days, and I have no idea why. Should I be concerned for you? Is this an omen? A sign? Are you in fact fine? Or is there something I could do to help? You, being a sensible woman, might laugh and say that we are worlds apart. But I remain concerned, for you, for unfathomable reasons, at least I haven't been able to probe them.
John Muir said, "When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe", and Leonardo Da Vinci said, "When you put your hand in a flowing stream, you touch the last that has gone before and the first of what is still to come." And John Lennon said, "I believe, yes I believe. More I cannot say. What more can I say?" And R Shackelford said, "I refuse to date a man with bigger breasts than mine." See, if I stack enough quotes in a row maybe you'll smile.

Pucker Unconcerned

I got this line in a spam email in the poem made of spam email lines listed in another portion of this blog.

Let's sing it to the tune of the chorus from the aptly titled, "Judy's turn to cry":

Let's
pucker unconcerned
pucker unconcerned...

and
"fashioned him an anus" fits the song as well. OK not as well as pucker unconcerned but wtf. Apparently doctors fashioned Fidel Castro an anus at some point in his recent medical care. I'd rather be fed sleeping pills until I died, but who knows, having an anus fashioned out of some sort of organic material might be pleasant.

I made this song up a while ago that is a rip of a slow version of Dancing Days by Zep. I made it up so I could do a solo that started at the low portion of the fretboard and went all the way up the fretboard to near the tippy top. This is 'cause a certain relative always complained that I would do solos on the lower frets. So of course I like to do them. Contrariwise. I'm talking to my intimate friends here. So lissen up.

So anyway, I found, or was led to by someone wise on here, those Bonham solo cuts in MP3 and think I might play along to one, even though they aren't, any of them, Dancing Days.

Another amazing fact about me - I can't really bend strings near the tippy top of the fretboard, they hurt too much. Maybe if I switched to 9's from 10's I could, but 9's are for pussies.

Vitiligo

I have been diagnosed with Vitiligo. I'm not happy about it.


What is vitiligo you ask? It is a skin disease whereby I am losing pigment. My aunt and a couple of cousins have it as well, though a genetic causal link has not been established. 40% of people who get vitiligo will have a relative with it.
My vitiligo is bilateral, under both arms, in spots. It may stay this way for a long time; it may spread to all or part of the rest of my body; it may go away spontaneously though that is a rare occurence. Yes, this is what Michael Jackson also has.
Treatment options vary; there is no cure; but I am applying a medicine called Protopic and am leaning towards going to get excimer laser treatment. Protopic is an immunomodulator.
Some doctors believe vitiligo is an autoimmune disorder, whereby the immune system attacks and kills melanocyte cells in the skin, causing loss of pigment. Protopic reduces the strength of the immune system in the areas it is applied, therefore allowing the body to repopulate the skin with melanocytes. Results usually take 3-6 months to show; I apply it twice daily. I haven't seen any results but I'm only on my third week.
The excimer laser is a laserbeam of focused UVB light. Some patients respond well to UVB light, and have home light boxes that they stand in (prescription only - your neighborhood tanning bed won't help). However my father had skin cancer so it makes no sense to expose my entire body to UVB. The laser will target just the spots under my arms. When I start this treatment I will have to go to the dermatologist 2-3 times a week for a quick session with the laser. The laser treatment could continue a few months to get results. I say 'when'. It's still 'if'.
2 problems with the laser - having to go to the doctor so many times a week, and fear that insurance will not pay for it. It is expensive.

Insurance companies sometimes argue that vitiligo is cosmetic and thus not a medical condition. Tell it to someone who has vitligo all over their body. My cousin has it on her arms, torso and neck and told me she has had people ask her if she was a burn victim. There is also the fact that melanin-free skin will sunburn very easily.

OK there are worse things to have, but that doesn't make this cool.

Anyway, that's my rant o' the day. It's actually June 21st as I type the rest of this (I typed the first sentence in May as you can see at the top of this post). Blogger needs better managment of dates and times.

Spam Email poetry

I'm collecting some nice subject headers for poetic reasons.

consolidate aimlessly
pucker unconcerned
Journey, into the Italian band Lord paw of them that
in his journey, and instantly electrifies his heels and puts such
beater the hypocritical that statewide or
austin oat derogatory doris
the ebony in gestapo but exhibit it's lath be crystal
dreamlike dolphin
dreamlike necromancer
furtively put socks in trousers

Blue Cheese Blog

We just got a Whole Foods Market in B'ham, and to my delight, they sell a gazillion kinds of blue cheeses.
I decided to keep a blog of the ones I've tried and my impressions of them.

Saint Agur: French, apparently made by a major dairy, and expensive. VERY delicious, creamy and tart without too much salt or bite. This is a double cream, decadent, fat-laden yummy cheese.

Forme D'Ambert: Unpasterized French cheese. Firm, lots of blue, tart, salty, but mild.
Update: I've had this cheese for a couple weeks now, and I'm just not digging it. I don't know why, either. Its kinda bland. The blue in it is more grayish blue; maybe this means that the culture in it is a different strain or something than I'm used to, but it's just not doing it for me.

My friend Katie has a new blog/ where I've been blogging mostly

Just thought I'd say - I don't see a way to make 'link to friends' in my dashboard so I figured I'd just make a post. Check it out!

rippleinthewater.blogspot.com/

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Mostly I blog musings on my myspace page, so here's the link:

blog.myspace.com/dangerjudy